Life is pointless, but so is death. ... Guess we should just make the best out of life, huh
I bet you noticed how a mood can shift in just a day. You can consist solely of hate, and the next day it's fine. Stupid.
Makes me think my brain is retarded. But that would mean, that i can manipulate it to be "happy"? Like, abusing biochemical mechanisms to reduce hate and increase happiness. Theoretically, my brain rewards me for doing good stuff and loving and so on. Which is also stupid. But it works. (Drugs don't count btw, it's cheating )
When youre in a good mood, you don't think about how pointless life is, you just kinda enjoy yourself, right? It's still stupid, but it's a good way to live. Is being stupid on purpose better than trying to be smart and make sense out of life? Jesus. Whatever. Sure. Why not. I love being stupid.
As long as theres a chance that i can be happy, i will not give up. I like your attitude.
Always wait 3 days before you do anything stupid. Saved my life
The last thing I would do is commit suicide. And I'm trying to enjoy myself as little as possible because that is egoistic. If life has a meaning then I think it is just by reproducing or trying to make life better for everybody else, not yourself.
I am a pure egoist. I do NOTHING that doesn't benefit me in some way. I am studying medicine because i want to heal sick people. Sounds paradox, right?
Everything an organsim does has an egoistic background. There was a time when i thought kinda like you - The result was that i didn't even call my grandparents anymore, because i thought that i was doing that only to improve my relationship with them to get gifts and money and that sort of crap. So behind my caring for grandparents would just be another egoistic, malignant purpose.
Wasn't long ago when i revised my philosophy on egoism. What is my goal when i interact with other people? I mean, why am i even talking to YOU right now? I could save the energy and do something else, something more "productive", right?
Every interaction with another organism is a tradeoff. You invest something, and get somehting back. There is no such thing as a one-sided action, where one organism gets nothing or everything.
If you work for someone, he might reward you with a wage. If you help someone, you get gratitude, or maybe just satisfaction out of it. If you talk to someone, your brain rewards you with hormones that probably increase the mood. Youre getting rewarded for acting as a pack-animal.
Personally, i don't give a crap about money or a high self-esteem because im a doctor or whatever. The only reason why i want to become a doctor is because i want to be able to help others - To help myself. The interaction of healing rewards me with "happiness", and benefits others with a better life. So it's a win/win situation. Couldn't be better, right?
Also keep in mind, that others might be depending on you. Especially girls Your job as a boyfriend is to make your girlfriend happy, and the other way around. Simple.
Can you do that when acting like a lifeless zombie? You have a responsibility there. You're not allowed to let yourself down, because others might go down with you. And that is unacceptable.
I'm just 14 so I'm not really ready for responsibilities like that. And I'm currently not attracted to anyone but myself. I know that sounds incredibly egoistic and maybe a little disgusting too. If I get a work in the future, I'll probably work at McDonald's or something like that... I also believe that money is "evil". I heard that quote from the batman "if you're good at something never do it for free" I got really sad when I heard that so many people agree with that.
I haven't slept for 3 days so if I'm... something... you know why...
Have you seen the movie Cube (1997)? If you haven't, you should. Because there's a guy in that movie named Worth that I really like. His way of seeing life is just brilliant according to me.
I saw the movie about 5 years ago, and thought it was stupid. Just saw it again, and now i see a whole bunch of metaphors to philosophy and human society. Actually pretty good, if you can see the underlying stuff. The fact that you seem to be able to do that at your age is impressive. (I am 21 right now, but i think you already know that.)
At the age of 14, i was just a plain idiot. Almost failed school every year, and pretty much acted as the clown for the others. I consider my childhood to be crap. I have no clue if there are similarities to what youre dealing with right now, but hey. I also started doing some pretty fucked up artwork, similar to what youre doing right now. I might show you some of it later if you want a look, since it's not on my deviantaccount.
One thing i would like to correct at this point: I never thought about suicide - That stupid thing i didn't do was something different(And worse).
The main issue back then was dealing with unfairness and the hate that resulted from it. Especially in school, when i saw more successful people, it was easy to develop envy. Like, why are people following them, and not me? Why does the greatest douchebag in class get all the attention? And so on. I did alot of pretty bad stuff just to be acknowledged. And even then, "Friends" would just turn away from me.
Looking back, i am actually glad that i made those experiences. Sounds weird, but pain makes you stronger. And i'll even tell you a secret - The driving force, that made me success at school and sports and everything else (except social stuff), was hate. Just as an example: In the eleventh grade, i almost had to repeat the year. In the last year before graduation (13), i was the best student in class.
Back then, hate was the only thing i really felt. There was nothing else - No fun, no sadness, no love. Hate drove me forward. It can make you accomplish all sorts of things.
I started thinking about philosophy about 3 years ago. First, i looked at what my scientific purpose in life was, which is reproduction. Makes sense, because your brain rewards you for it with happiness. But that just seems incredibly pointless. Why start another cycle of "Endless human stupidity", just as pointless as the cycle before? I mean, thats seriously retarded, right?
If you put life into a greater perspective, it gets even more retarded: Have you ever noticed, how fast time passes? The adults surely talked about it. "Oh god, he grows up so fast!". The past is lost. The future is limited. At the end of the future, everything will be the past, and everything will be nothing. So ultimately, there will be a point in time where nothing we ever did matters AT ALL. What a shitty view. Don't know if you can understand that, but oh well
So, right. If nothing matters, then what i do doesnt matter. I could go kill my cat right now and it wouldnt matter at all. Fun doesnt matter, love doesnt matter, fear doesnt matter, pain doesnt matter, hate doesnt matter, and death doesnt matter. Thats alot of freedom, actually
I have to respect no one, i have no duties, i have to follow no rules. I live the stupid life that for whaterver reason was given to me the way i want to. No one can touch my ultimate freedom - The same freedom, that everyone else has, due to the exact same pointlessness of their lifes. But they don't realize that, and keep living in their little frame that was given to them through instinct and standard behavior.
Ultimate freedom means that i can live my life the way i want to. ... How do i want to live my life? I actually just want to be happy.
Thats why i help others. Thats why i want to make my parents proud. Thats why i keep my friends, that i now finally have. I don't even feel sadness or hate anymore - It doesn't make sense to be sad or full of hate. All negative emotions are pointless, since they don't contribute to my ultimate goal:
Happiness. I do what makes my brain happy.
Simple, right? Humans sure are stupid, living in their little fishbowl. But thats the way i like to live. Don't know if that made sense to you. Maybe it will later.
Dark ones have the biggest potential to become great personalities. Guess thats why i wrote all of this Keep going, you'll be just fine
Very much text indeed... But I read all of it. I LOVED what you said about the "Ultimate Freedom". The last scene of the cube was actually my favorite part. Listen closely to what he says, I just love it: [link]
"Boundless human stupidity"...
I'm pretty sure humanity will have an economical catastrophe which will result in total anarchy. True freedom... Every person alive has a chance to make a difference. Life is 1 to infinity... Life is the key to the door of making other people pointless liefs enjoyable. Life only happens once in infinity. Make some good out of it. But stupid people who just commit suicide are the most egoistic ones out of all. Except for sacrifice, even though it's sad it still has a reason.
But have you heard of the theory of everything? What if nothing is... "real"? What if this all is some kind of matrix? We can't prove that it isn't. And even if we did, it wouldn't chance much... and when I say much I mean nothing. Because if you think deeply about this... you'll see even more. Until you see so much that you're blind again. It's all a huge anti-climax.
I'll never make my dad proud... only jealous. He beats me very often because he knows I'm right. I never hit back. I don't even cry or say ouch. But my mom on the other hand, she is the one who made me realize all this. She is 100x more philosophical than me.
Also notice that only the "purest" of all actors escapes the prison. A metaphor for how humans nowadays create their own prison due to social standarts like career and relationships? Our goals make us blind for the righteous, often leading us on the path of evil...
Even if mankind experiences a worldwide catastrophy that causes anarchy, i don't think that it would mean freedom for everyone. Youre still bound by the need for survival - You'll have to kill, steal, and abuse just to survive. You might join some kind of gang to make your life easier, but then again, youre under the command of some retard. Is that freedom?
I really liked your statement "Life is 1 to infinity". It displays my view very well, the pointlessness and the fact that you should make good out of it. And yeah, suicide is just plain egoistic and weak.
The theory of everything has no relevance in my opinion - Even if life is an illusion, it wouldn't change anything, since we wouldn't know about it. And even if we knew, it would, again, not really change anything. The matrix would be pointless, the guys that made it would be pointless, and so on. Which kinda brings me to an actually pretty interesting point: Religion.
I found a good song, that inherits some of my ideas AND a really interesting question: What if there's more than we can see?
Let's just look at Christianity, since i don't know enough about the other religions. It was pretty much invented to answer the same question were dealing with right now: What is the purpose of life? Religion gave the people purpose, and a structure in life. A god to follow, and rules to obey to. People suddenly had a goal: Eternal life in heaven.
Yeah. What is the point of a eternal life? What is the point of heaven? Where did god come from? Is god pointless too? Just to make my point more clear: A few months ago, i was talking to a catholic, who tried to convince me that religion is true. He recogniced my strong affinity to science, and pointed me towards a professor of astrology and math, who seemed to have concluded a logic way of proving that god exists.
Basically, the professors reasoning consisted of this: The world is made of dimensions. Then he went on and showed the dimensions on a piece of paper to illustrate. The first dimension is a straight line, the second dimension is a flat surface, and the third a cube. The fourth dimension was just a bunch of weirdly aligned lines, but that was the projection of a 4-dimensional cube. Then he went on with the fifth and the sixth dimension, which were even weirder. Every dimension inherits all dimesions before it.
Damn, that guy was so clever. The people in the audience stared at him with big eyes and furious nodding, as he explained that "God exists in the fourth dimension, and therefore inherits us all within him! He is the medium of our existence!"
If every dimension needs the next dimension as a medium to exist in, then in what medium does god exist? The fifth dimension? That guy provoked more questions than he answered.
But anyway, to MY point: Even the medium we exist in is pointless. Right now, with our human perception, that is the universe. What is the point of the universe? It's just... There. Great. If that medium was the matrix, then what is the point of the matrix? It's just ... There. Again, great. If that medium is god, then what is the point of god? Right, there is none. It's still just a pointless life, because god is not in the position to give reason to life. He's just another being in another medium, that probably is also pointless.
That professor was so incredibly clever. Derp. What did the catholic guy say when i told him that? "I don't even think about that. That's just beyond the human mind, so you should just accept it."
I guess he's right. But i'll stick with the universe as a medium, not god.
"Boundless human stupidity" and "I can live with that"
Oh yeah, the dimension thing. I've read all about it. They also mention the 4'th dimension in Cube 2 Hypercube. It's not as good as the first one but it sort of explains a tesseract (4-dimensional cube). I'd love to see how it is in the 4'th dimension. But sadly I don't think that my puny little brain could comprehend that. Just watching a tesseract rotationg made me dizzy. But after looking at it for about 3 minutes, I sort of understood how it worked.
If "GOD" exist which I sort of believe. It is a damn mysterious fella. Or object... I don't think god is "alive". I don't think god can think. I believe that god is an event. The event before existence. I don't want to go into the god subject too much because I'll get light headed and probably even faint, I've done that a couple times thinking about it.
Wow... I think this conversation has gone on long enough. It's been really nice getting to share all this with you.